Fat Girl,

Love is hard work.

February 20, 2014 145 Comments

26 years takes a toll on a girl
and love is hard work.

But that’s okay.
I’m worth it.

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Halloween as a deconverted former fundamentalist.

October 13, 2013 2 Comments

Michael and I went into a Halloween shop today.

I’d never been in a Halloween shop before, and it was an eye-opening experience.

I was really surprised to see so many little kids everywhere — and not a single one of them crying or scared. These kids…they clearly could separate fiction from reality in a way that I couldn’t at their age. In a way that I couldn’t as a young adult. I envied this ability they had that I’m still working on developing. I envied their lack of fear, their pure delight, their reasoning skills.

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Of privilege in progressive circles.

September 16, 2013 7 Comments

Just because I’m a good person, just because I’m progressive, just because I’m involved in working towards a better world, doesn’t mean that I am unaffected by privilege, exempt from critique, incapable of bearing responsibility for abusive behavior…or even incapable of being an asshat.

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Turning on a dime: false equivalence in purity culture.

August 13, 2013 10 Comments

That’s one of the problems of purity culture. It seeks to shelter, to save, to protect. But in doing so, unwittingly or not, it becomes benevolently sexist, perpetuating the very evil it claims to protect its adherents from, using gentler words and subtler manipulation towards the same end.

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In which I am hesitant to call it abuse.

March 18, 2013 12 Comments

This week is Spiritual Abuse Awareness Week, a synchroblog hosted by Hännah, Joy, and Shaney (along with Rachel and Elora). Today we’re all linking up with Hännah, and I’m so thrilled that this is happening. And yet…

And yet.

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Of church, feminism, and safety.

February 28, 2013 41 Comments

I am a feminist. And I am a Christian. I think these are completely compatible systems that ought to go hand in hand.

But I do not — cannot — will not — go to church.

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When something’s not okay: pondering reconciliation & relationship.

February 14, 2013 30 Comments

Pattern of wrong behaviour with disregard to criticism + widespread or deep offense = no reconciliation for me. No forgiveness. We are not okay.

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The body I have.

January 2, 2013 125 Comments

Neither being fat nor being female is shameful. My feminine body doesn’t have the magical mythical ability to strip away the logical thought-processes of men, making them into helpless hormone-driven apes. My fat body is still my body, and it’s my vehicle in this life. It doesn’t belong to anyone else for their commentary, critique, or approval. It belongs to me. It harms no one.

These concepts may seem really simple and obvious. But I’ve struggled with them subconsciously for all of my life. And as I sit here in my skinny jeans and fitted top, for the first time in my life I am fat, female, and unashamed.

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Fighting the sadness.

October 31, 2012 18 Comments

Depression says nothing about our morality, our worth as people, or our standing before or relationship with God. I call these coping mechanisms because that’s what they are for me. They help me get through my days when I otherwise might not be able to.

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