Fat Girl,

Lessons learned at the Fortress of Faith, Part 1.

August 8, 2014 0 Comments

What start­ed as a sur­vival tac­tic to escape the para­noia that Bob Jones Uni­ver­si­ty instilled in me turned into a con­fi­dent deter­mi­na­tion to con­trol as much of my life as pos­si­ble. It revealed my inde­pen­dent spir­it, and for that I am thank­ful.

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Lessons learned at the Fortress of Faith: An Introduction.

August 6, 2014 4 Comments

I thought that the hard­est thing about being at BJU was going to be just learn­ing how to fol­low an amaz­ing­ly ridicu­lous set of rules — and frankly, I thought I had that cov­ered. I grew up in a con­ser­v­a­tive Chris­t­ian school where BJU groups vis­it­ed for recruit­ment pur­pos­es. I was usu­al­ly one of the good kids, so I thought BJU was going to be a col­lege-ver­sion of my high school. No big deal.

Boy, was I wrong.

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Pain demands to be felt.

June 7, 2014 0 Comments
Image from beliefnet.

I just watched The Fault in Our Stars and I’m hav­ing feel­ings about my dad who is dying (slow­ly) of can­cer.

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Some thoughts on rape culture and unintentional derailing.

June 4, 2014 4 Comments
Image from TV Week.

Rape cul­ture affects every­one, but we don’t have to have all the con­ver­sa­tions about all the things any time we want to talk about one of them.

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Thinking about fatness and self-injury and mental health.

June 2, 2014 6 Comments

Con­tent note: talk of self-injury, body image, and sex­u­al assault after the jump.

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In which I realize how bad my assault was.

May 5, 2014 0 Comments

Some­times I down­play my col­lege assault, but maybe I should stop gaslight­ing myself. Trig­ger warn­ing for descrip­tion of sex­u­al assault after the jump.

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I am nostalgic.

April 25, 2014 2 Comments

I am nos­tal­gic for belong­ing, no mat­ter the cost.

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Learning to trust myself: intellectual honesty, appealing to authority, & deconverting from Christianity.

April 8, 2014 16 Comments

The rea­son I don’t have a con­crete answer to how I decon­vert­ed is that I feel like I still am decon­vert­ing, that it’s a process I’ll go through for many years. But the turn­ing point (I wouldn’t say the start­ing point) is that I couldn’t man­u­fac­ture belief any­more, despite spend­ing my whole life up until that point ful­ly ded­i­cat­ed to Christ. I had to let it go in order to pre­serve my intel­lec­tu­al integri­ty.

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Learning to trust myself: intellectual honesty, appealing to authority, & deconverting from Christianity.

April 8, 2014 16 Comments

The rea­son I don’t have a con­crete answer to how I decon­vert­ed is that I feel like I still am decon­vert­ing, that it’s a process I’ll go through for many years. But the turn­ing point (I wouldn’t say the start­ing point) is that I couldn’t man­u­fac­ture belief any­more, despite spend­ing my whole life up until that point ful­ly ded­i­cat­ed to Christ. I had to let it go in order to pre­serve my intel­lec­tu­al integri­ty.

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The Sad, Sad Story of A Really Nice Guy.

March 7, 2014 14 Comments

He was A Real­ly Nice Guy. He couldn’t pos­si­bly unknow­ing­ly sup­port dis­crim­i­na­tion or ben­e­fit from it.

Could he?

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