Fat Girl,

To make it abundantly clear: why this atheist is invested in Christianity.

August 20, 2014 1 Comment

Part of me says, “You’re not a Chris­t­ian any­more, so just ignore it. It’s not like it affects you any­more any­way.” But that’s not real­ly true. There are lots of things about Chris­tian­i­ty that deeply affect­ed me for over 20 years, and when Chris­tian­i­ty also tends to play a role in U.S. pol­i­tics, it sure as hell affects me.

And the thing is, when I stopped believ­ing in God, I didn’t stop car­ing about peo­ple.

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The stories we tell: using narrative to make sense of our lives and surroundings.

August 19, 2014 1 Comment

Exam­in­ing and cri­tiquing cul­tur­al nar­ra­tives as they appear in “real life” and enter­tain­ment is impor­tant work. It’s life-chang­ing and empow­er­ing work.

It’s impor­tant for women to know that they aren’t crazy when a man is stalk­ing them and demand­ing atten­tion and affec­tion.

It’s impor­tant for women to know that if a man — even a man they love — attacks them, it’s not okay.

It’s impor­tant for black girls to know that they can grow up and go into space.

It’s impor­tant for trans peo­ple to see them­selves accept­ed in soci­ety.

It’s impor­tant for peo­ple to know that they are more than a car­i­ca­ture, that the sto­ries of their lives mat­ter.

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Lessons learned at the Fortress of Faith: Part 2.

August 13, 2014 2 Comments

The atmos­phere and its com­plete per­me­ation of BJU dorm stu­dent life is impor­tant because of the nec­es­sary iso­la­tion it engen­dered. There was sim­ply no way of know­ing who was fol­low­ing the rules because they believed them to be right, and who was just try­ing to keep their head down long enough to get out as unscathed as pos­si­ble.

Not with­out open­ing your­self up in ways that could have pret­ty seri­ous con­se­quences.

That made it all the more pre­cious when peo­ple would acci­den­tal­ly let slip that they were a nor­mal per­son try­ing to get by, just like me. These moments were quite rare, but absolute­ly sacred — mem­o­rable if for noth­ing else than the brief sol­i­dar­i­ty they brought.

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Lessons learned at the Fortress of Faith, Part 1.

August 8, 2014 0 Comments

What start­ed as a sur­vival tac­tic to escape the para­noia that Bob Jones Uni­ver­si­ty instilled in me turned into a con­fi­dent deter­mi­na­tion to con­trol as much of my life as pos­si­ble. It revealed my inde­pen­dent spir­it, and for that I am thank­ful.

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Lessons learned at the Fortress of Faith: An Introduction.

August 6, 2014 4 Comments

I thought that the hard­est thing about being at BJU was going to be just learn­ing how to fol­low an amaz­ing­ly ridicu­lous set of rules — and frankly, I thought I had that cov­ered. I grew up in a con­ser­v­a­tive Chris­t­ian school where BJU groups vis­it­ed for recruit­ment pur­pos­es. I was usu­al­ly one of the good kids, so I thought BJU was going to be a col­lege-ver­sion of my high school. No big deal.

Boy, was I wrong.

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I am nostalgic.

April 25, 2014 2 Comments

I am nos­tal­gic for belong­ing, no mat­ter the cost.

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Love is hard work.

February 20, 2014 145 Comments

26 years takes a toll on a girl
and love is hard work.

But that’s okay.
I’m worth it.

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In which I am hesitant to call it abuse.

March 18, 2013 12 Comments

This week is Spir­i­tu­al Abuse Aware­ness Week, a syn­chroblog host­ed by Hän­nah, Joy, and Shaney (along with Rachel and Elo­ra). Today we’re all link­ing up with Hän­nah, and I’m so thrilled that this is hap­pen­ing. And yet…

And yet.

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Of church, feminism, and safety.

February 28, 2013 41 Comments

I am a fem­i­nist. And I am a Chris­t­ian. I think these are com­plete­ly com­pat­i­ble sys­tems that ought to go hand in hand.

But I do not — can­not — will not — go to church.

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Fighting the sadness.

October 31, 2012 18 Comments

Depres­sion says noth­ing about our moral­i­ty, our worth as peo­ple, or our stand­ing before or rela­tion­ship with God. I call these cop­ing mech­a­nisms because that’s what they are for me. They help me get through my days when I oth­er­wise might not be able to.

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